prescience aint all its cracked up to be.

since ive been in High School ive been writing poems. i would rewrite certain ones until i thought they were perfect. I began to keep a notebook of said final drafts. a couple years ago i left this notebook at a friends thinking i would never see it again. I obsess over this notebook because it's like my little sanctuary, i hide in it's pages and re-live different days. Well fate finally returned this book to me last nite which is great cuz i have some more final drafts i want to add to it. Here is a poem i wrote in November 2006.

Am I a liar, or am i the lie? Am I words I've spoken inside the promises broken? Does the love in the air bring wind to the ocean? Revolving door aspirations, flooding the ruminations, drowning me effortlessly, i was just your vacation. The rain now fierce, kharma spitting in my face, a full blown tidal wave takes me back to empty space. My contribution, nothing more than pollution, i can swim but i'm high on confusion, green pills and broking wings down the whirlpool of delusion. I'll never escape the wave. a slave to my wreckless ways. Let my body hit the shore, you're not the same as you were before, behind the door your safe while i'm barely awake. You dealt me my fate, under the bridge and freezing rain i wait. I am the plague, the tragedy on stage, my debts won't soon be paid during this season of decay.

I found myself, exfoliation. dead in hell, and heart's still aching upon a star where the leaves fell. waiting in an empty shell. Eternity, a moment away, the fires of reality burn with a new day. Smoke filled skies shows a man on the edge of his demise, choking back the tears, taste the embers as i sigh. Sullen and sloped. Am i the black hole at the end of the rope? an abyss to a meaningless kiss, frozen in emptiness, a frost bitten bliss. fates cruel hand chosen by the perilous. I brought hurt, lost innocense, cut my wrist in self defense. Born of a shadow behind a rusted fence. And i watch love fall like ashes, crumbling apart into a heartless bastard. Running in place you're getting smaller faster. I'm still dying, happily ever after. Descend beneath the clouds, alone i stay. weathered from the destruction from your season of decay. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, to all the parallels. i don't believe in fairy tales, so i'll see you in hell.