Boxes

Back in 2006 while @ Peet's coffee i worked with this wonderfully intelligent, shining light of a girl name Oana. Originally from Romania she was a student at Wellesely college. So many incredible perspectives and ideas ran through her mind. She really was brilliant and we shared many great conversations. One of the few people in the world i have or ever will let behind the chaotic wall that protects me. Well she ended up graduating with her Physics degree and went over to France to Teach. Before she left she gave me a home made postcard with this incredible poem revolving around the concept of different boxes. she even drew boxes all over the card. We spoke on the phone a bit while she was in France but i never got to give her my reply. I wrote her a poem, probably my favorite to this date. Aptly titled " Boxes". This one is for Oana Ivan. The most interesting person ive ever met.


The stars eternal, still shine. Illimunating thoughts in lost one's mind. Untaimed and maimed, wounded souls with no names. Looking to stake a claim in the heart with bloodless veins. I peer across horizons, through dark nights to sun's rising. Surprised having realized the way she looked at me so innocently. It hushed the inner cries. i caught a tear escaping telling a story, i listenened. her complexion glistened. Is this what was missing? Like a head on collision, stuck between the truth and a vision. Burned and returned from excursive expeditions. Better to be a shadow than a blinding indecision. I'll stand behind my premonition. How many stars wait till we're dead to gleam bright? too late for hindsight my mind's right, scars mean we put up a fight. Close the box tight. I wish i was the moon tonite.
I feel a storm, her heart warm, but when she passed through i'll be tattered and torn. Into repetition im born. A thorn to the rose, please don't mourn. For i live for the pouring rain and dark havens. I cave in beneath the wings of a raven, wash upon the shore, nevermore. My eyes closed, no longer exposed or dispose, what you need to hear is disclosed between the coffin and a rose. Bury me deep in your embrace. The thorns are to protect, lets go to a place where its safe from the cruel and inept. Hurry, my pills are clockin in for their shift, breathe in peace before i'm relieved in bliss. i told her i was tired and my desire's to quit, she smiled back, gave me an empty box and opened it.....
I could fill it with thoughts, untying stomach knots, crawling from the cold of my cemetery plot. Sometimes i think outside the box, but you'll always be locked in my memory. the safest spot. Beauty like you couldn't be store bought. Confined in my mind i resign under the star lit designs. The empty box i fear to fill except mine. solid pine. But im gonna wait along time till we're at the stop sign of the cross roads where all is defined. You told me copper was gone, that your name meant " John". i learned of protons, electrons and hydrogen bombs. I implode. Just when we connected it was time for you to go. So i dropped a thought in the box and sent it first class to where our paths again shall pass, i may be your past, a car crash. you all wanna watch but noone stops. My eyes dew drops as i do drop. Keep the box. I lay lost beneath a lacerated sky, bleeding on the day love died. Close the lid, ignore the sigh. When opportunity knocks i trip falling short, im too high. Immunity from heartbreak, Pardon me she said " goodbye".Losing interest like cashed in investments, boxed in a corner im paying for my transgression, Oana i miss your expression. She swam like a fish, and couldn't hear the final question. The empty box folds, laying on top. it's cold. I cant sleep. she's 4000 miles gone and im beneath the floor's creak. You were so different no comparison, please know i'm not dead. it's all too embarrassing. i count back from one, send a message with the rising sun, box is full, packing done. i know you gotta run for he who invented love holds the smoking gun. But your spirit firmly planted keeping my heart glued. I put myself in that box and now it belongs to you.