simply watch the rain and sigh. Blooming flowers that deny. and the sun, the sun just dries the lonely.
Echos bouncing from the walls, as the paint begins to fall. And the dust, the dust just chokes the lonely.
in your scent i sensed an innocence. And i thought the same sentiment until i was sent into never ending descent. you're surprised by my dissent? if only you saw where i went. You offered a penny for my thoughts and these are my 2 cents.
As the embers spark the blaze. The grazing sting of your gaze. and the cold, the cold just froze the lonely.
Now i've reached the other side. You're alone in the storm. I'm not looking back, watch the bridges burn...burn me free from my only, my one and only.

death is my gift.

its a way out. some much needed respite. it's not a cry for help, cuz i am not desperate. Its a gift, a treasure beneath the ashes i sift. I broke from the script, improvising through a life in which i wasn't equipped. You lost your grip and i was dropped, into the darkest shadow of my most forbidden thoughts. When all was lost, i couldn't bare to exhaust the option of a life where i aimlessly walked. Its not that i was caught, i just have to stop. I gave you all i had as the mercury dropped. im trapped between the broken mirror and bloody walls. i finger paint a smiling face with crossed eyes before i fall. follow the trail to hell where i'm at peace with it all.
On the outskirts of a ghost town with no sound there's dead trees and cracked dirt. a broken window in the haunted house where i've lived since birth. Yours is the only reflection i see, in this stagnant pool of blood that's choking on me. My life expectancy is holding a clock right next to me. You were what's best for me now im just left to be. a hand full of pills as im fumbling toward ecstasy. I haven't slept because you're gone. Since you've left i've seen the darkness, with no sight of dawn. Burning a hole in my heart, acid reflux sucks. sinking on the raft flooded by my tear ducts. a sitting duck amidst the mire. a nail in your spare tire. I left my self open like a travel retreat flyer. I guess i was easy to read, now i stay between the lines as the clock hits nine. i hit an artery with broken hourglass, my love i'm outta time. I'm trapped between a whim and a tattered old quilt. Bury me at peace beneath the gallows where dead memories are built. Our last kiss led to this, a closed door a clenched fist. a life of sorrow for eternal bliss. I open my wounds and let death be my gift

the night breed.

what keeps you awake? heart break? the silence, the echoes, the glare of the tinted landscape? all is dormant on the external, the beauty of night, the home of the nocturnal. the itch is epidermal. i dont scratch. day breaks and and the clouds crack. i lay back until night fall. my early bird is the owl and my muse is on the prowl. With chaos in slumber i crawl from under. no need to hide from lightning, i am the thunder. everything is clear, and i fill with wonder. I am the night breed, born of darkness, end of summer. i can see the air, feel the glare of the moon from the pier. follow the stars to the beginning of nowhere. my mind is free to roam with with sinister shadows, swing through the gallows, discover new worlds and old pharaohs.
They day darkens what's internal. the night sheds light so i live nocturnal. The clock strikes the witching hour, my mind switches to power. opens up a realm where words and colors turn into meteor showers. In the coldest of worlds, in a land all alone. i have no other choice to call the night home. i am the NIGHT BREED.

in no particular.

a simple "fuck you" is too much. cant walk cuz i fell on my crutch. twisted the cap threw em' back cuz life sucks. wake me at dusk and throw me under the bus, i wanna choke on the carbon and combust from swallowing rust. toss me with the anonymous between the gusts of settled dust and just walk away and shut the fuck up. ive had enough. stop pushin my buttons or im cutting, fuck ordinary! im timmothy hutton. a reclusive shut-in. all inclusive trip straight to the end of nothing. i walk in the mires and fields through fire i yield to the unmistakable high so i dont feel. ive had my fill, im outta pills. gimme a bottle of benadryl to keep me still. lock me in the closet clog the sink and leave on the faucet, go to the rental office and get back your security deposit. fuckin bitch had my heart then lost it in her wallet after i sewed her new pockets and bought her a locket with a picture and a thousand words, a promise and a tear with her name on it.

a million

i am empty. i am void. creativity's destroyed. i can't sleep, i can't think. burn my eyes so i cant blink. i cant eat, i cant grasp. there's a broken heart dead in my lap. the autumn crashed upon my skin, thoughts stripped bare, a million.
i walk in shadows, i walk through lines. through burning bridges a million times. i cant cope, i can't take, i cant emote or bother to fake. There's a scratch upon my plate. a meal that i never ate. The autumn rained its cold into my conscious and to be completely honest, atop my list of reasons your name is on it. one of a million.
if im empty than im a liar, i cannot hide...for you inspire. you give life to every thought. to every single breath ive got. you give meaning to each word. you are the essence of my nerves. You are my autumn, a microcosm. for all good fortune i have gotten. i wish i were your same. i wish i could put rhyme to your name. but treading water i maintain. with the silence, with the pain. a million knives in a million veins.

when the blood spills

its not auto-immune or viral. It's dead butterflies sliding down a spiral. a cascade of blood parades down flesh to tile. What happened to the smile? marching orders through vacant aisles, walking through hell a wave of sadness crashes, drowned in my own ashes eyelashes melted to the rims of my glasses, tied to the track on my back the train passes. Caught in the web of a vengeful arachnid. eight arms of harm spin me outta control no alarm to wake me i'm fuckin out cold. a choke hold and a broke mold, my soul was sold by an asshole whose sole intent was to kill me slow with a blindfold, now im too old to see what's been left of me. picked to pieces till my heart ceases, a wrinkle in time fills with creases , stitched to the nines for death seeks us. and i seek it. my bloods on the wall next to the sewing kit. It runs free through the alleys and prairies alone in a cave with a pile of dead canaries. Stand back mr reaper, my fate doesnt scare me.
I stare through a glass vase upon led painted sill, my body is shaking while the world sits still. atop the rain drops i let my blood spill.

i cant sleep

I cant sleep.....my mind spins like a helicopter propeller keeping me awake along with the cricket a'capella. keepin time with the wind chimes till the sun shines an able mind destroyed. im in the confines of thoughts that run into the void of ink blots, the leaky sink drops. Sleep obstacles make it impossible to close my eyes and ignore white audibles.the moon is full, im counting wolves, howling out of key and i smell blood on the wool. Its an abstract lit match burning the midnite oil until the long last contrast between sanity and reality dispatch my neurosis, you wrote this when sleep became more hopeless than a dream because we're too focused on the fly in the screen and that one sad scene in mr hollands opus and my on going fear of sarcoidosis.These are the thoughts that race at a pace that could blast the speed of light into a dim lit space bound so tight the speeding sounds cant escape. And i feel trapped. eyeballs bigger than bottle caps, tappin on the window , tree branches laugh. an eternity and a half and i can't fuckin nap as my eyelids overlap. i still see time on attack...keeping me awake until the sun comes back. deprived of heavy eyes i run from lights until i die. gravity doesnt apply cuz i'm floating through the sighs, deep breaths fly through thoughts i..........i keep falling, clocks not stalling, still hear ideas cold calling. and i keep buying, thats why its 1 am and im lyin, staring at the ceiling panels, tv in my head wont stop changin fuckin channels, just me and a pack of camels and a chest full of roman candles.........i cant sleep.