Sometimes..

Sometimes i just wanna eat a bunch of pills and smash the bottle over my head until i bleed out a chemical spill. I'm a walking time capsule buried in my thoughts. If I'm just a moment in time i'd rather smash the clock. Sometimes i'd rather be forgot, because your memory is my memory and that's all of you that i got. I see the future and i am its past. Sometimes i wish i were the beach where your waves crashed instead of a cracked image in a faded photograph.

Sometimes i wanna lose my temper, walk in to a crowded building and..Fuck! i can't remember. Sometimes i take too many pills and that's why i can't remember. Sometimes i don't wanna remember because the eyes are still tender. Melting through an endless reel of my soul being dismembered. Sometimes i wanna be weak. I find myself floating above the stairs cuz i cringe everytime i feel the wood creak. Stop noticing me, I'll be gone in a blink, don't speak of me, sometimes i wish i didn't think. Sometimes i don't remember.

Sometimes all it takes is a picture to stall the machine as the human inside tries to wipe the face clean. I hate to impede, but sometimes i wish you were here so you could watch me bleed. Stop me please. Sometimes i scratch the surface of your forgotten hypothesis and realized you were right, that i was the remedy. Sometimes i take more pills. Sometimes i boil water till my imaginations overfilled. Sometimes i pine for atrophy, and sometimes i kill my shadow as i sleep happily. Sometimes i can love. Sometimes i cough blood. sometimes i listen for clues to remember what i was, but the current never comes back. All i hear is foaming waves sweeping rocks under the pedals from the lilacs. sometimes i don't remember.