i like certs

there is not enough blood to spill.
not enough air to breath.
not enough time to kill.
not enough thought to conceive.
vagary be my will
and set the fire to reprieve.
Warm the blade
storm the heart
burn the soul
death do I part.
blaze the saddles
on dead horses ride
the ghost in the meadow
the white's in my eyes
There's nothing to wake up to.
There's no one to say bye.

he turned the light off.

we all want to be wanted. an empty cardboard box an unpeeled orange.
The remnants left upon the ignorant's carnage. I haven't slept since the smoke cleared
 and waters parted. Last on the shelf at the back burner sale. silenced like the "E" at the end of the Dan's Quayle, i gave him a potato but he punched me in the stomach and bailed. My family doesn't value me. i used say it's cuz i was priceless but the truth behind the broken bulbs is that i can no longer fight this. and there was never a cavalry. Not a ghost, a whisper, a faint wind or a cloud. my vocal chord's out of tune and there's no light's allowed. The only reverb come's from the anxious nerves as the acidic bile is spilled outside this ghost town suburb. a colony of autonomy, the shadow of a dichotomy. there's a light on the hybrid but it dare not bother me. I'm going to the place where the needles are soft. Looking up from the bottom of the ocean the reasons stop. 100 more miles that i'm left to run, 93 million between what can't be undone. and i'm left with a nagging cough. tired of sitting alone collecting moths, so that light that i left has finally been turned off.

darkness doesn't stray.

in the absence of peace swarms of chaos hover. There is no eye to this storm. Blind destruction as clouds smother. The sky is falling, the souls ascend, time is stalling as fiction ends. A broken bottle, a barbed wire halo. Bleeding to death on the tail of a tornado. Sworn to secrets and burned by regrets the wreckage is massive, i'm cold with the sweats. Broke and in debt. Consumed by the moon an exhumed silhouette. When all hope is gone and it's too dark for dawn, i go with the ghosts away from the fire and waves on the coast standing upon what's left of the badly drawn map headed straight down the oceans throat. This fucking life is nothing but a goddamn severed limb rotting under a dying tree eating away at the dead skin. An out of tune mandolin strummed to the sound of a man chewin' ambien. This is the eternal sleep, the perpetual calm after the storm where the floods run deep.where the shoulders you cry on are colder than headstones where your loved one's weep. If death is my gift i got a short christmas list. a bottle of whiskey and 100 pills in my fist.

dead, rivers

my posture has sunk. They set fire to my sail. I'm capsizing in the dead sea. The only thing living is me. I'm surrounded by ghosts, demons and smoke. The night fell before day ever broke. And my pain isn't just pretty words to sadistic eyes.  my smile isn't happiness, i just became the disguise. My hope cannot float in a sea in which i wrote, For I've known all along that hope is a hoax. A bent card in the spokes. humming an anecdote about a boy jumping rope. No one on either end. That's how its always been. i finally see the truth as the fog ascends.......And through the years of pain i escaped, by writing words. From the worst i was deterred. i escaped my darkest days. But i see what lie's a head and I've no more words to say.....

I've died so many times in my mind. My thoughts have turned on me. My impulse at its whim. making blood spin in my skin a cyclone of anger and sadness and sin. Begging the knife to jump the fuck in! It wants to see light, oh glorious light. A quandary. An everlasting plight.  They've carved their list of demands in my arms. An orca, a pumpkin and the angel's alarmed. The chaos and ruin , she's forced to look over. A spider web, some dead roses and a burning cobra.
I need her, and she knows. The darker Celtic sun and a phoenix mid pose. I'm stuck in my prose. I can't juxtapose. I just take the pills till my eyes are forced closed. Asleep in my clothes thoughts meander in space. I dream of completion in infinity's grace. A den amount to life's sentence. A dim light on a porch and a tree for remembrance.   There's a gun to my heart and the suffering's back. There's a city in ruins and a blood thirsty cat. Clawing away through the days. Stalling inside the mind's maze. There's uppers and downers and ideas afloat. There's a calm in the air, song bird on my throat. I've been choking on my blood since the last of my heart broke. I see the paint on the wall and it needs a new coat.

My scars are my bible.

My hate dies with you! I can be free. i can be destined for something more than mediocrity. Left in a fucking gutter for the world to slaughter me. Dead on arrival , no mother or god , just an instinct for survival. My scars are my bible.
Ive built a wall out of every broken promise, a lock without a key and a Happy Face on it. You chose the bottle first,then every man under your skirt, we washed the kitchen floors with comet cuz you made us feel like dirt.  Just accessories that were given bare necessities. All these demons in my head you offered no remedy. Sent to fucking bed with out a meal, just bad memories. You turned your cheek as i became my worst rival. You inherited me and I, from the meek. no words to speak, my scars are my bible.
As the wind whispers a fate's solemn message, i see a crumbling shadow and an unlearned lesson.
But i'm highly educated and under medicated. I am born of my thoughts and the nightmares they created as i was torn from the spot where the sun once radiated. I've spent a life on trial, you hung me with the jury. Got high till i was blurry and dropped me from the 3rd story of your self serving allegory. For not his laughter there'd be no more chapters. You paid everything but attention so now you don't matter. My burning bridge won't warm the cold shoulder. These scars are my bible, my motor. my drive. You're as dead as the sea that the waves skipped over.

view of the room.

When the sun invades my eyes and my vision's paralyzed there's no hindsight.
In the mortal shell i bathe on a wave of conception to the grave below's my mind's flight.
Carry on, in between where my thoughts are never seen. Carry on, tear the seam. fabricate the American dream. it's divine plight.

Through the cracks, through the walls. through the perpetual falls, as the soul begins to fade we erode beneath the clay and the rise of a new dawn nothing change's when we're gone.
 Through the lines of permanent, not welcomed by firmament in my twilight.
what was wrong cannot be right as i surrender to night. It's a highlight.
Through the cell, i escaped. the apparition hovers in wake and i shine bright.

Where the rain begins to fall and the water doesn't land, as the shadows cast a pall on the sins of every man.
There's no guide no helping hand, there's no preexisting plan. Just a wind  that saunters bye and a solemn, honest goodbye.
As i rise above the sun, i'm at peace and whole as one. I am all right. No more mortal shell restraints.
No more voices in my brain, i am finite. Carry on, i can see a transparent vacancy but i'm free. from the venom of the words, the sheep slaughtered in herds as the cauldron of life stirs. no more hate, no retribution. no disease no more pollution. eternal peace,  nature's solution i thank  GOD for evolution....it's a sign right?