I've died so many times in my mind. My thoughts have turned on me. My impulse at its whim. making blood spin in my skin a cyclone of anger and sadness and sin. Begging the knife to jump the fuck in! It wants to see light, oh glorious light. A quandary. An everlasting plight.  They've carved their list of demands in my arms. An orca, a pumpkin and the angel's alarmed. The chaos and ruin , she's forced to look over. A spider web, some dead roses and a burning cobra.
I need her, and she knows. The darker Celtic sun and a phoenix mid pose. I'm stuck in my prose. I can't juxtapose. I just take the pills till my eyes are forced closed. Asleep in my clothes thoughts meander in space. I dream of completion in infinity's grace. A den amount to life's sentence. A dim light on a porch and a tree for remembrance.   There's a gun to my heart and the suffering's back. There's a city in ruins and a blood thirsty cat. Clawing away through the days. Stalling inside the mind's maze. There's uppers and downers and ideas afloat. There's a calm in the air, song bird on my throat. I've been choking on my blood since the last of my heart broke. I see the paint on the wall and it needs a new coat.