a recipe for hate.

It's not often that i have a moment of clarity. Usually I'm ranting about what wrestling moves I'm going to do on people who piss me off or I'm talking about what MILF shopper at my work i want to copulate with on either a bouncy house or their $6000 couch. But today I came home from work and just took a deep breath. Soaked the world in. I see a lot of chaos, destruction, sadness, injustice and a LOT of hate. I'm not a perfect man. I am the contrary. I have sporadic outbursts, irrational thoughts and misdirected rage. I manifest all that through impulsive writing or actions that usually express my discontent with the human race. Despite my apparent disdain and dislike for most i DO NOT have hate in my heart. For anyone.
Hate is the action of fear when people fail to investigate their fear with an open mind. Hate is when you deny yourself the alleviation of fear by simply accepting that not everyone is the same. Hate is turning outward what you let dwell inward. Facing a fear can be difficult and encompassing. It doesn't make you weak if you realize you were wrong. It makes you human. It means you're learning and that is part of the process of evolution and growing as a species. Learn about your neighbor, your community and those who look different than you. Take a few moments to actually get to know another person and all that fear will be washed away. Your anger will subside and soon peace will dwell inward. That's what everyone wants i reckon.
We're all working toward something, there's just so many different ways to get there. Just because my way may not be the same as yours doesn't make you better, or me a bad person. It just works for me. And if something works for you, good. We all want peace in our lives. We all have a struggle that we go through daily to achieve that peace. And i can't hate someone for believing different than me. I can't hate someone for preaching different than me, or liking different food, women, sports, music, art than me. Because stripped down, we all just wanna feel complete. We all wanna be loved. We all just wanna make it through the day. Why can't you just let someone make it through the day?
That racist asshole in the white robe who fucks his sister and his dog on the back porch every night, he wants peace. He doesn't realize that the men he hates work as hard as him to support their families and do them right. He doesn't realize that those same men struggle to make ends meet and are being held down by the same green giant that is crushing 99% of us year in and year out.
 That young kid on the street corner slinging dope in one of those cool black puffy jackets that i can't afford, he wants peace. He's just been disenfranchised by a society that labels him before he even knows who he is himself. He's put in a cycle where no one expects anything more of him than slinging dope and residing in jail cells. He's just slinging dope to help his mom out because she's working two jobs to support the family cuz dad skipped out. He's trying to better his family and bring himself peace despite the bullshit label put on him by the 1% who tossed him and his kind out to sea without a life raft then turned their yachts back to shore. Despite that all, these people who are completely different get up each day and defy the odds. They show heart and courage. Their fear and hate hold them back and this is why it's important to the man in the white robe and the kid on the corner that they're not all that different. They're just trying to get by. Different approaches but both desire the same result. We can all achieve that result if we just move that fucking barrier between us labeled "hate".
Different groups of people have hurt others for centuries on over. Inexcusable hurt. Ignorant, deplorable fucks. But we can't judge one person based on what a group of people have done. We can't let that near sightedness be the nail we drive in our coffins.  It's so goddamn easy to say " I hate all fucking Muslims. They're nothing but terrorists who want to cut our heads off and take away our bacon!" You can't judge an entire people based on their bad seed's acts. And for the record, i don't even hate the bad seeds. It's too much effort.
I can't occupy what little i have on this earth dwelling on those who have hurt me. No matter what, i will fight them with love. I will punch them in the fucking face if they get too close, but i will still love them. My ex wife cheated on me on my fucking birthday and when i called her on it she tossed me aside and left me to start my life over from the fucking depths of hell. I literally had nothing and she continued to pile on coal to the flames. I climbed back, and i still love her. The Nurse who was THE one destroyed my heart and soul and ruined me for all other women, but i still love her, because she loved me like no one on this earth ever has. She was there. She hates me now, but that's her burden. Same for the ex-wife. I should hate them. I should super kick both of them off the Empire State Building onto a burning taxi cab, but the hate is too consuming.  I should hate my father for walking out before my first Christmas and then barely showing up when i was a child. I don't. I love him. I watched him die and told him i love him. I could have easily told him what a piece of shit he was. What a lousy parent, and shit provider he was. I could have told him he wasn't a man and then curb stomped him on the bumper of Dodge Ram. Not even that fucking cunt Renee Julien who molested me when i was 8. Stole my fucking innocence and got away with it. I don't and can't hate her. I fucking pity her because she will live an empty goddamn life and wilt away into dust like the kind she smokes. I could punch her in the face in rage but I don't have that kind of energy, man.

I may hate what someone did, but i will not hate them. Blacks, Whites, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Latinos (and even those fucking nut job Mormons who probably need some kind of psych meds and electro shock therapy to make them wake up and realize they're idiots. ) Russians and so on all want peace. Just in different ways. We have to accept the other's ways. We don't have to like their methods, and we don't have to use their methods. And maybe one day, if everyone breaks down their self imposed barriers and sees that we're all just trying to get by on this planet we can come to a common and shared method that doesn't include hate or intolerance. Just the basics: Love, compromise and sex. Thank you for reading!