its not auto-immune or viral. It's dead butterflies sliding down a spiral. a cascade of blood parades down flesh to tile. What happened to the smile? marching orders through vacant aisles, walking through hell a wave of sadness crashes, drowned in my own ashes eyelashes melted to the rims of my glasses, tied to the track on my back the train passes. Caught in the web of a vengeful arachnid. eight arms of harm spin me outta control no alarm to wake me i'm fuckin out cold. a choke hold and a broke mold, my soul was sold by an asshole whose sole intent was to kill me slow with a blindfold, now im too old to see what's been left of me. picked to pieces till my heart ceases, a wrinkle in time fills with creases , stitched to the nines for death seeks us. and i seek it. my bloods on the wall next to the sewing kit. It runs free through the alleys and prairies alone in a cave with a pile of dead canaries. Stand back mr reaper, my fate doesnt scare me.
I stare through a glass vase upon led painted sill, my body is shaking while the world sits still. atop the rain drops i let my blood spill.
Monday, September 19, 2011
i cant sleep
I cant sleep.....my mind spins like a helicopter propeller keeping me awake along with the cricket a'capella. keepin time with the wind chimes till the sun shines an able mind destroyed. im in the confines of thoughts that run into the void of ink blots, the leaky sink drops. Sleep obstacles make it impossible to close my eyes and ignore white audibles.the moon is full, im counting wolves, howling out of key and i smell blood on the wool. Its an abstract lit match burning the midnite oil until the long last contrast between sanity and reality dispatch my neurosis, you wrote this when sleep became more hopeless than a dream because we're too focused on the fly in the screen and that one sad scene in mr hollands opus and my on going fear of sarcoidosis.These are the thoughts that race at a pace that could blast the speed of light into a dim lit space bound so tight the speeding sounds cant escape. And i feel trapped. eyeballs bigger than bottle caps, tappin on the window , tree branches laugh. an eternity and a half and i can't fuckin nap as my eyelids overlap. i still see time on attack...keeping me awake until the sun comes back. deprived of heavy eyes i run from lights until i die. gravity doesnt apply cuz i'm floating through the sighs, deep breaths fly through thoughts i..........i keep falling, clocks not stalling, still hear ideas cold calling. and i keep buying, thats why its 1 am and im lyin, staring at the ceiling panels, tv in my head wont stop changin fuckin channels, just me and a pack of camels and a chest full of roman candles.........i cant sleep.
Deloras was a flower.
She stood tall, she stood proud. She stood for many things without having to speak loud.
She had color, she had poise. She stared down the sun and silenced the rain's noise.
From the window, she watched. Pedals strewn across her top. a few ice cubes when she got hot.
She rose from the dirt, disfigured and distorted. She spread her resiliance into a beautufil orchid.
Then time's grew tough, she was getting pale, an extention of her thirst, the colors they all failed.
broken limbs, crumbled leaves. she gasped for air, she couldnt breathe, no one was there but the tumbleweed.
Her frail form couldnt hold. she hunched in pain...she fell slow.
Under the sun, beneath the showers, she left a taste but never sour.
She was Deloras, and she was a flower.
She had color, she had poise. She stared down the sun and silenced the rain's noise.
From the window, she watched. Pedals strewn across her top. a few ice cubes when she got hot.
She rose from the dirt, disfigured and distorted. She spread her resiliance into a beautufil orchid.
Then time's grew tough, she was getting pale, an extention of her thirst, the colors they all failed.
broken limbs, crumbled leaves. she gasped for air, she couldnt breathe, no one was there but the tumbleweed.
Her frail form couldnt hold. she hunched in pain...she fell slow.
Under the sun, beneath the showers, she left a taste but never sour.
She was Deloras, and she was a flower.
Monday, September 12, 2011
I lit a cigarette
I lit a cigarette, like breathing in relief. like seeing from beneath.
I exhaled a Picaso, abstract lines and rings intertwine as i extinguish my mind.im on a plane, a see-saw causing turbulence in my brain.
a runaway, lost on the runway, i got a bus ticket to escape the mundane.
one day i'll exhale. one day i'll set sail. the smoke like fog, i cant see. confusion in the sea
illusions of debris, coming out of me. coughing from my coffin. another drag and im stoppin.
Bus station is empty, its raining in the low seventies. i waltz with my faults down the empty halls.
I light another cigarette before nightfall. no rock to small from which i can crawl. My lungs now heavy
runnin outta oxygen. I flick the ashes and pop a klonopin. I swallow the matches and burn all the toxins in
if we're never gonna talk again you should know what i thought my friend.
you take more of my breath than any cigarette. it's too bad they havent found a cure yet.
and too bad you havent found me . gonna lite another and hope you discover that when the smoke clears
the turbulence will go as these words hit your ears. But ive gotta catch another bus, to give you the painting,
i hope that your'e waiting. i'll be with the others on the thin ice, skating.
I exhaled a Picaso, abstract lines and rings intertwine as i extinguish my mind.im on a plane, a see-saw causing turbulence in my brain.
a runaway, lost on the runway, i got a bus ticket to escape the mundane.
one day i'll exhale. one day i'll set sail. the smoke like fog, i cant see. confusion in the sea
illusions of debris, coming out of me. coughing from my coffin. another drag and im stoppin.
Bus station is empty, its raining in the low seventies. i waltz with my faults down the empty halls.
I light another cigarette before nightfall. no rock to small from which i can crawl. My lungs now heavy
runnin outta oxygen. I flick the ashes and pop a klonopin. I swallow the matches and burn all the toxins in
if we're never gonna talk again you should know what i thought my friend.
you take more of my breath than any cigarette. it's too bad they havent found a cure yet.
and too bad you havent found me . gonna lite another and hope you discover that when the smoke clears
the turbulence will go as these words hit your ears. But ive gotta catch another bus, to give you the painting,
i hope that your'e waiting. i'll be with the others on the thin ice, skating.
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