My scars are my bible.

My hate dies with you! I can be free. i can be destined for something more than mediocrity. Left in a fucking gutter for the world to slaughter me. Dead on arrival , no mother or god , just an instinct for survival. My scars are my bible.
Ive built a wall out of every broken promise, a lock without a key and a Happy Face on it. You chose the bottle first,then every man under your skirt, we washed the kitchen floors with comet cuz you made us feel like dirt.  Just accessories that were given bare necessities. All these demons in my head you offered no remedy. Sent to fucking bed with out a meal, just bad memories. You turned your cheek as i became my worst rival. You inherited me and I, from the meek. no words to speak, my scars are my bible.
As the wind whispers a fate's solemn message, i see a crumbling shadow and an unlearned lesson.
But i'm highly educated and under medicated. I am born of my thoughts and the nightmares they created as i was torn from the spot where the sun once radiated. I've spent a life on trial, you hung me with the jury. Got high till i was blurry and dropped me from the 3rd story of your self serving allegory. For not his laughter there'd be no more chapters. You paid everything but attention so now you don't matter. My burning bridge won't warm the cold shoulder. These scars are my bible, my motor. my drive. You're as dead as the sea that the waves skipped over.

view of the room.

When the sun invades my eyes and my vision's paralyzed there's no hindsight.
In the mortal shell i bathe on a wave of conception to the grave below's my mind's flight.
Carry on, in between where my thoughts are never seen. Carry on, tear the seam. fabricate the American dream. it's divine plight.

Through the cracks, through the walls. through the perpetual falls, as the soul begins to fade we erode beneath the clay and the rise of a new dawn nothing change's when we're gone.
 Through the lines of permanent, not welcomed by firmament in my twilight.
what was wrong cannot be right as i surrender to night. It's a highlight.
Through the cell, i escaped. the apparition hovers in wake and i shine bright.

Where the rain begins to fall and the water doesn't land, as the shadows cast a pall on the sins of every man.
There's no guide no helping hand, there's no preexisting plan. Just a wind  that saunters bye and a solemn, honest goodbye.
As i rise above the sun, i'm at peace and whole as one. I am all right. No more mortal shell restraints.
No more voices in my brain, i am finite. Carry on, i can see a transparent vacancy but i'm free. from the venom of the words, the sheep slaughtered in herds as the cauldron of life stirs. no more hate, no retribution. no disease no more pollution. eternal peace,  nature's solution i thank  GOD for evolution....it's a sign right?

broken dreams

dreams hit the sidewalk, and sputter toward the drain. you hit the ground running and then hit a wall. Shadow's remain as the imagery falls. tears in the ocean and darkening skies a pageant of failures and lone passers by. and i shudder to think of what's next. I'm stuck on a page with no text and i don't feel alive. I feel they don't hear me sincerely beneath quips and queries i've neglected you dearly. No, i don't feel alive............
see the dream break the dream break the dream break with the sun, into the sun. Burning, escape and the clouds can't negate burning sun, watch the blood run. scattered into condensed thoughts, and stomach knots.  But i matter not...
so come on and scribe this reality with a couple of lines and a dead battery. We can write all the wrongs and play cavalry. You can be my savior. And i won't let you down. Like my dreams let me down. ...
see the dream break the dream break the dream break with the sun, into the sun. Burning, escape and the clouds can't negate burning sun, watch the blood run. scattered into condensed thoughts, and stomach knots.  but you're the last real thing that i've got. so i'm gonna hold on. Like a pause , like a cause and blanket of flaws i'll hold on...to your dream.

when i can't sleep i imagine

my smile is a gateway drug. it's a mask I've grown to wear. There's electricity but no plugs, and the air in the darkness gets you higher than a scare. I can't love because you think i'm a monster. I can't feel because you're too close. They shriek at the thought of compassion, and weep as the soul gets morose. It's more than  a misunderstanding. Its a demonstrative back handing and my smile has been broken. Welcome to the real me. A capsized vessel in a dead sea. It gets stressful in this mental medley. a thousand thoughts per heart beat and you're the center of every. The nucleus . a palpitation's envy. I wanna coast through the essence of your words, and land in your thoughts where i'm safe from the trampling herds. The masses. the visions of panic, chaos and disasters. I wanna escape this global  misery. and scrape through the gravel till i'm resting in your lee.

a poem i wrote but too lazy to title

and i've got wounds for the wounds that never heal. and i've got words, so many words i cannot deal. You are gone but you won't go away. The sun is shining but the sky still gray. I'm hanging on..to forever and a day. Where have you gone? My sweetest of meadows. Where do you sleep when i lie awake? From the heavens, to a crumbling ghetto, i will wait. i will wait, i will wait.
beneath the hope of a dead god, i levitate beyond the fog,  the wind recites the epilogue , the girl and her 3 legged dog. They all lead me to every flaw that smashed the mirror when i saw. It's over now the harvest sown.  The echoes hushed, the seeds all grown. No turning back, no blood from stones. From the heavens to  demon's home. I will wait. but not alone. Between the words, beneath the wounds. The elephant has left the room. bye.

an untitled poem about i dunno.

its amazing what a grazing from a one inch razor can do to stop aging. One minute you're star gazing and praising the distance between yourself and the infinite equation, from conception of thought to painful memories that keep playing. The next you're on a table under lights meeting the fable. Long beyond stable and they're unable to bring you back with jumper cables. They dimmed the lights on the hazel as the eyes rolled back like a discount store label. But you can't put a price on life, a small slice and you're reaching heights beyond an angel's sight. Beyond a souls flight. So far away from that blade of grass that smelled so nice. So far from the smile you lost on the 15th night. Now you're a cadaver, a pile of matter who doesn't matter on stormy eves as lightning strikes and stars scatter. The vultures chatter as they gather and circle above the fallen ladder. A grazing, abrasion, hanging out in the basement. You put a price on life and he collected the payment.

gold

as i flirt with the shadows. as i tempt the darkness. I walk a thin line between compassion and heartless. my heart's on my sleeve and bloods on her carcass.
Her name was Gold and she was priceless. I met her in a crisis. A chaotic vacuum of mud and ice picks.
We were each others salvation. She was my cleansing, i was her inebriation. A one year vacation from rabbit ears on her head transmitting static stations. And when all was sorted i was escorted back to the house where the windows were boarded.
For 13 months I sat between these walls alone in waiting. waiting for never ending winter. night fall. but i never bothered  to see if it snowed. i watch the floors grow mold as the paint on the ceiling erodes. I'm still here. And so are you. I thought this watch was magic but my soul's still black and blue. Not a moment passes, not a breath escapes. that you don't wander through my mind like we were holding hands just yesterday.
And i can let go, but to another I can't hang on. Ive heard a thousand melodies but you're still my favorite song.
i. will. never. stop. loving. you.