I have this dream where i'm on the docks waiting for a boat that was supposed to pick me up and take me to an island free of stupidity and inanity. We had it all planned out. i was going to get a sex change and then disappear without anyone knowing. then once i was on the island i would get a sex change back to being a man once safe on the island. There's a bunch of ships at the dock and i get on the one i think is the right one. Everything seems okay at first. we are sailing along and the ship laughs at my jokes because the ship has a soul because in a former life it was Jim Henson. It didn't talk like Kermit though. It sounded more like the puppet from the Wilkins Coffee commercial. " Bad things happen to people that don't drink Wilkins!".
We saw some amazing things at sea. I met a bunch of the ship's friends. They all had weird voices like Tinkerbell. We were on a cool journey. i made friends with another ship who like alot of the same things i did. We bonded when my ship got drunk and sputtered too loudly. It was then i realized i was on the wrong ship!!!
The clouds got real thick and ominous. thunder rumbled like angry Barry White gargling after an unpleasant visit to the dentist. The ship i once trusted to take me to my safe island where i would build a hut and sell coffee had abandoned me at sea!! i was so mad at myself for getting on the wrong boat. The other boat with whom i bonded sailed around me in circles to make sure i didn't drown. Sadly it was already filled to capacity with happy passengers going to their own blissful island. I punched the ocean in the face in anger. The ship meant for me was already boarded! my throat got real tight in sadness as a whirlpool formed beneath me. so close to the right ship, yet so far in the undertow. as i sank to my demise just inches from my island i took one last look at the ship that i was meant to be on. I closed my eyes and captured the image because i couldn't capture it's heart. I awoke after the storm. On my own island. My strength was back. My freedom was back, but there was something missing. I moved along and had a successful coffee hut on my island. I eventually settled down with Emma Roberts but every now and then i'd look to the horizon and see that ship. The fluttering sails of compassion meandering on by. i'd pause for a moment and lament upon not boarding. I turned in sadness with my squid friend who was sort of racist but had a good heart and we'd go back to the hut and hug emma roberts.
and this a story of a real drum that constantly badgers me!
